Month: June 2020

14 posts

Now that I have my official diploma from my math major, I can finally know Krelb, the “wretched numeral” between 4 and 5

Whoops! Local cop shoots self in foot (figuratively) by shooting protester in head (literally)

Board of Trustees Declare Commitment to Treating All Communities with Respect, Especially Fossil Fuel Companies

In response to calls for the university to divest from various interests…

Zoom Sucks! Now It’s Not Fun to Masturbate in Class

Look, don’t get me wrong; my sock drawer has been emptied for…

Senior Still Hasn’t Come to Terms with Fact That They’ll Never Vomit Cajun Fries into an Old Union Toilet Again

Sitting absentmindedly on the couch, watching their ninth consecutive episode of Netflix…

Report: Hundreds of Catalytic Converters Found in MTL’s Basement

In a press conference earlier this week, just days before the end…
Corporation PR Departments Puzzled by Possibility of Being Black and Queer at…

Smirking Trustee announces that there’s nothing anyone can do — they already spent all Stanford’s money on buying one enormous monster truck that can only be fueled with the burnt remnants of rare Amazonian trees

Stanford Admins Exasperated at Having to Send Yet Another Fucking Email About Current Events

Bike Left on Campus Gets Struck by Lightning and Gains Sentience — But Slowly Goes Insane Because It is Chained Outside to a Sign-pole and Cannot Escape

He calls himself Nork. A rusting grey Schwinn, he sits day after…