Hey, would anyone be willing to swap P.O. boxes with me while I go abroad next quarter? Mine is fine, it’s a nice number and good location close to the front of the post office. The only thing that some people might find a little troubling is that there is a snake living in it. Honestly, it’s a plus, but when I’m in Madrid, I won’t be able to take care of her. So, before you make up your mind, let me fill you in on some details.
It all started back in October when I stopped by the post office to pick up a package. Admittedly, it had been a while since I last checked my P.O. box. When I opened that bad boy up though, amidst the pile of Chase Bank flyers, was a roughly three-foot long San Francisco Garter Snake, red and blue striped.
I thought it would be a pretty fast and easy fix, and called up Santa Clara County Animal Control. But after a quick conversation, I learned that the San Francisco Garter Snake is an endangered and protected species here, and legally cannot be removed from their environment.
Anyway, her name is Abigail and honestly, she’s a real sweetie. She’s pretty low-maintenance too. You’d need to stop by a couple times a week and feed her a few juvenile bullfrogs, maybe a California newt if you can find one. Once a month, give her a mouse as a treat. She’s not too picky though! The big thing is that San Francisco Garter Snakes are pretty social animals, so it’s good to spend at least four hours a week just hanging out with her if you can, just so she doesn’t get too lonely.
Please email me [email@example.com] if you are interested in swapping P.O. boxes. Commitment would be the one quarter that I am abroad. Serious inquiries only please. (Rosenthal)