Oh, the humanity! When sophomore Prithi Chacko opened her group project Google Doc to discover that the identities of her classmates were hidden by anonymous quirky animals, she made little note of it. “I didn’t think anything would come of it. I have no clue how that feature of Google Docs even works,” she sobbed.

No one—NO ONE, not Anonymous Aardvark, Anonymous Koala, or even that smug Anonymous Quokka—anticipated the horrors of what would come next.

Under the cloak of obscurity and mammal pseudonyms, Anonymous Capybara just went ahead and typed “fuck” right at the top of the document, sending the project group into an absolute spiral. A long, mournful wail could be heard all around campus, as each group member realized that they would never know peace again and the world had changed as they knew it. They would forever see the blinking pink cursor next to “fuck” and the capybara avatar’s eyes lustily watching the chaos ensue.

“There’s simply nothing we can do. This slippery rat bastard will never receive the scythe of justice,” said Chacko through gritted teeth and silent tears. “I will never look at a capybara, the world’s largest rodent, the same again.”

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