Gazing idly at the rotating blades whirring above the whiteboard at the end of the room, junior Robert Schmidt reportedly wondered aloud yesterday whether the ceiling fan was moving fast enough to decapitate his TA. “Yeah, I bet that sucker could chop his head clean off,” Schmidt whispered to reporters as the TA answered a question about last week’s problem set. “Just lower the fan a little bit, and next time he stands up, krrk! He’s a goner.”

“I mean, granted, the fan’s not going too fast, and it would have to be a pretty clean cut, but I think those blades are still heavy enough to do it,” continued Schmidt, watching intently as his TA began writing a problem out on the board. “Man, could you imagine? He’d be so dead, and we’d just be sitting here, not knowing what to do. That’d be crazy.”

At press time, Schmidt had wished his TA a happy weekend and was whistling cheerfully en route to his next lecture, where he’s “sure” his aged professor “might just croak on the spot.”

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