With spring quarter rapidly approaching, the annual rush for Greek organizations is just around the corner. Freshmen have spent the whole year carefully building deep friendships in their dorms and now it is finally almost time for many of them to be severed by the rush selection process.

“Gabe definitely has more connections in Sig Chi and is more popular than me, so when he gets more bids than me the awkwardness and resentment will certainly end our friendship,” said Max Walters, one of two friends. “But we’re not worried about that right now. Right now we’re just trying to enjoy the end as much as we can. Tomorrow we’re going to Cream! Maybe for the last time.”

In preparation for rush, the Intrafraternity Council (IFC) has constructed a “Friendship Memorial Wall” by the Old Union Clubhouse. The wall will provide a place for freshmen to pay symbolic last respects to their pals with notes, framed photographs, and scented candles.

“We had a good run, a great run,” said Chelsea Howitz, a senior in Theta, remembering her old friend Elizabeth. “But when Lizzy told me she would rather die than rush Theta with me, I knew it was over.” A tear trickled down her cheek as Chelsea mournfully punched a hole in the side of her Natural Light and chugged the whole can. (Dektar)

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…