Blueflower, NV—Hard times had fallen on beloved purveyor of delightful contraptions Harry Elam, who up until recently had been kept in a small wooden jailhouse near the center of town. The charges leveled against Mr. Elam included unjust chicanery and trickery as well as lascivious revelry with the intent of larceny against the trusting citizens of Blueflower. “This Elam character is going to finally answer for what he did to my darling cousin Junie-May,” said townsperson Easter Cowpenny. “No sooner did she start using his patented youth tonic that she broke out in purple boils all over her body.”

Of course, left in his small cell with all of his whirligigs and elixirs confiscated along with his rickety wagon-laboratory, the resourceful Mr. Elam had nothing to do but plan his escape. Under the pretense of showing the lone guard a slight of hand card trick, the venturesome raconteur deftly slid the key to the cell door off the guard’s belt. Under the dead of night, Harry Elam snuck quietly out of his cell, gathered his signature pocket watch from the nearby Sheriff’s office, and mounted Alabaster Quincy Winthrop, his faithful horse who was waiting out back. He rode off into the night, pulling his cart of winsome wonders behind him.

Upon discovery of Elam’s empty cell the next morning, Blueflower Sheriff was reported shouting, “Elaaaammm!!” while whipping off his lightly scuffed Stetson hat and throwing on the ground. As of press time, Elam was reported to be well on his way to the next town where he will peddle his fanciful wares.

You May Also Like

Poor Attendance to Jesus’ “Seminar on the Mount”

On Tuesday, Jesus of Nazareth descended from the heavens to deliver a…

Fraternity Plans Ahead, Holds Vomit Themed Party

It looks to be a night of booze, beats, and barf this…

A Standardized Formatting Guide for a Post-Truth Research Paper

Now that we have entered an age of “post-truth,” a time in…

Class Promises To Be Really, Really Easy