Despite insistence that it being 2015 wouldn’t deter him, Rick Santorum announced yesterday that he would finally be dropping out the 2008 race for the White House.

“It’s been a long, hard battle,” Santorum told supporters in a series of fresh Twitter blasts, “They told us we couldn’t do it, that we were stupid for thinking the strobe lights I put in my convertible would turn it into a time machine, that this was hurting them and the kids, and that I should just come home and be the dad I used to be. But they didn’t have our vision. And that vision will live on.”

Santorum’s campaign failed to gain traction after Mitt Romney won the Republican nomination in early 2008, and donors began creeping away by the time Barack Obama ascended to the Presidency in November. “We always thought we could bounce back,” a Santorum aide commented, “I guess we were wrong.”

Santorum promised to continue to advocate for the issues, including a swift response to the oncoming 2008 financial crisis and a withdrawal of all American troops from Iraq by 2011. Until then, the former Pennsylvania Senator announced he’d be taking time off with his family, including a trip to the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.

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