Sun: Is there anything more “summer” than the burning ball of gases in our puny little sky? I don’t think so! Be sure not to miss the sun this summer.

Water: Believe it or not, you drink water almost every day without even knowing it. The very same stuff that water likes to drink is almost indistinguishable from the good clear juice.

Food: Similar to water, food is essential for not dying, but is more solid (except for soup, which is water-food). Highly popular in lunchrooms around the United States and China, food is sure to be a hit this summer.

Shadows: Remember when we said the sun would be popular? Well, try having sun with no shadows! Pft, idiot.

Church: Amen.

Cold Clothes: Are these clothes damp? Are they meant for cold temperatures? Either way they don’t seem like a good thing, but they’ll be inescapable this summer season.

Hair: Don’t light your hair on fire just yet! Hair is so “in” right now. “IN” style!

Shapes: Remember your high school geometry class? Neither do we.

West (the compass direction): East is so last summer.Turn that compass around and head West.

Plants: Sun? Water? That’s a winning combination for – hey, just listen – it’s a winning combination for plants. They’re green, they’re mean, and they’re here to stay. Forever.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…