New reports from North Korea indicate that the country’s loss of internet on Monday was caused when leader Kim Jong-un tripped over a cable. According to an eyewitness, the Supreme Leader was in a hurry to attend his next execution and failed to see the cable dangling from its wall socket.
“At first we didn’t think anything was wrong. We only realized it was the internet cable after our Supreme Leader’s attempt to send cattle to Bashar al-Assad through Farmville failed.” Other witnesses added that “the Syrian Prime Minister really needed that cattle.”
The North Korean government then initiated a nationwide manhunt to find a more loyal internet cable. Many believe the scale of this operation to rival the manhunt Kim Jong-un launched in the late 1990’s to find Waldo. After several false alarms involving look alike cables (who were disposed of for their treacherous attempts to deceive North Korean authorities), the correct cable was discovered and North Korea’s internet was restored.
However, experts are concerned about the potential fallout from this incident. According to one expert at Hoover, “Kim Jong-un’s failure to timely respond to Assad’s request could damage relations between the two countries. Let’s just say we probably won’t see Assad sending any sheep any time soon.”