The Ebola hemorrhagic fever continues to spread throughout the world, bringing such symptoms as vomiting, bleeding, and hideous rashes, which plague victims until their untimely demise. But just because these victims are vomiting and defecating blood doesn’t mean they can’t meet fun, sexy singles with similar interests, thanks to a new Silicon Valley app.

The smartphone application, called eBola, costs $2.99 on the iTunes store and syncs to both Twitter and Facebook. Using a complex algorithm that takes into account factors like emotional temperament, communication style, and days left to live, eBola is perfect for finding other patients in your quarantine unit.

“It was never just about profit for us,” said Mitch Wilcox, eBola founder and entrepreneur. “Dollars and cents, those are temporary. The love between two people who have contracted ebola, well, [coughs], that’s also temporary I guess. Ebola is super deadly. ” Wilcox did add that eBola boasts the lowest divorce rate out of all dating applications, including Christian Mingle.

The Flipside also managed to track down one of the actual participants in the “eBola experience” to hear it from the user’s perspective. The patient, who we’ll call “Max,” was bed-ridden and mourning the loss of his recent girlfriend, who succumbed to the disease a few days before. Although Max was only available for a brief interview, he was able to sit up in his bed, look this reporter in his eyes, and say in a quivering voice, just above a whisper, “You can’t quarantine love.”

You May Also Like

Big Sister is Watching You

It was a Monday afternoon like any other, or so I thought.…

Fiorina Claims to have Seen Video in Which She Won the New Hampshire Primary

Following extensive broadcast coverage of last week’s New Hampshire primary, Carly Fiorina…