Student apprehended at Arrillaga Family Dining for stealing copious amounts of food.  He will face charges and stand before Housing and Dining Enterprises next week with the defense that there is no set measure of how much food is appropriate to take.

Police responded to a noise complaint at FroSoCo last Saturday night at 1:01 in the morning. Residents called about a riotous games of Dungeons and Dragons that was occurring after quiet hours.

Vaden is under investigation for conspiring to impregnate students to increase the accuracy of their diagnoses.

There was a 1,683 bike pile-up at the Circle of Death on Wednesday evening as nearly the entire freshman class traveled to Gaieties.  It still does not touch the record of 4,386 that crashed on the way to get free swag at a career fair in the Engineering Quad earlier this year.

An unlocked bike left overnight at Tresidder was stolen.

Wednesday night at 9:03, a fight broke out on the second floor of Otero over the claiming of Red Zone tickets to the Big Game.  Campus security was called to the scene after the RAs failed to stop the conflict from escalating while trying to claim tickets of their own.

Police on Santa Teresa took six Roble residents into custody last Friday night after they blew a stop sign.  Five are expected to be charged with misdemeanors while the sixth is facing a felony for biking without a light, meanwhile the stop sign is facing charges for indecent exposure in public.

Firefighters were called to rescue a handful of students from the post office after flooding trapped them inside on Tuesday.  One rescued student commented, “It’s not like we were in a hurry.  The rainy season will be over by the time we get our packages anyway.”

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…