Business Talk with Skanky Bobby

February 18, 2013 12:00 pm
Views: 99

What up flipsluts, Skanky Bobby here for round two.  There are a lotta things Skanky Bobby’s got goin’ on that you probably know about.  You gotta know that Skanky Bobby’s smooth–he buys the ladies golden baubles and in turn the ladies give him the rub-a-dub.  You gotta know that Skanky Bobby’s classy–he cruises around campus in a 2013 Mazda Miata with a vanity plate that says “Skanky”.  But did you know that Skanky Bobby always knows exactly how to hit the E-spot? That is, the Entrepenurial Spot?

That’s right, Skanky Bobby’s got some wicked supreme business brainwaves bangin’ around his cranium.  Specifically, about how to improve upon Stanford’s tried and true hospitality and restaurant formula.  Stanford’s eateries got a lot of good things going for them.  The bites are scrumptious, the floors are sparkling, and they’re always good to lasso a golden-haired freshman honey pie and bring her back to the old homestead.  But there’s one thing they are sorely lacking: skank.  And if there’s one thing Skanky Bobby knows, it’s that cats and kittens dig the skank.  Axe and Palm? Ho-hum.  Bobby’s got some ideas to revitalize this hallowed institution.  Check it:

The RACKS ‘N PALM

It’s a combination restaurant-gentlemen’s club which will offer students a place to eat and enjoy a variety of live performances: from the acapella stylings of Dicksed Co., to the comedy of The Rubber Barons, to the central attraction, the burlesque performance of The Assless Chapparals.

The menu has been revamped a bit as well, with new versions of old favorites like “The Immortal 69,” “The ClimAxe,” and “The Pack-12 Inches,” along with completely new menu items, like “The Andrew Get Lucky,” “Synorgy,” and “Sploogamaa.”

Diggin’ it? Bobby knew you would.  Look forward in the near future to “Dickadence,” a companion ladies club to complement the Racks ‘n Palm.

Gtg, i’m inundating somebody’s lonely momma with emoticons on AOL Instant messager and I know for a FACT she’s gonna start sending nakey pics soon.  SB, out.

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