Ask a Guy Doing Standup at the CoHo

February 25, 2013 12:00 pm
Views: 138

Dear Guy Doing Standup at the CoHo,

My parents came for parents’ weekend, and now they’re hanging out in the area for a few more days. What are some fun things to do around here that I can send them off to do while I get some work done?

Smothered in Serra

Dear Smothered,

I’ll tell you where you shouldn’t take them – Meyer Library. Man, sometimes when you go there it’s so crowded they should call it Their’er Library! Ahh…yep. What is the deal with parents, anyway? It’s like, first they’re so eager to get away from you that one of them squeezes you out of her vagina, next thing you know they can’t get enough of you! Make up your minds, parents!

Dear Guy Doing Standup at the CoHo,

I’ve been seeing a boy in my Chemistry class for the last few weeks. Things are going alright, but I think I’m going to break it off. The problem is I usually sit next to him and it’s going to super awkward.

Deciding in Donner

Dear Deciding,

Relationships can be tough. The last girl I dated, she was always nagging me. So I was like, “Look if you keep telling me to do stuff all the time, I might as well just start sleeping with my boss!” Got in trouble for that one! She wasn’t too worried, though, since I’m self employed. Now that I’m single, I “bang my boss” in the shower every day, if you know what I’m saying!

Dear Guy Doing Standup at the CoHo,

I really like this girl in my dorm, but I’ve never asked anyone out before. Got any dating tips?

Nervous in Narnia

Dear Nervous,

Tell you what you shouldn’t do — take a date to the CoHo. This place is only slightly classier than a Taco Bell? Like this guy, am I right? What is he thinking? Look at him sitting there splitting the Eggplant Panini with that girl. Is it just me or does she look like she’s thinking about sawing her own arm off at the shoulder with her butter knife like that 127 hours guy? Alright…that’s it for me. Thanks, you’ve all been great!

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