Romney Unveils Controversial “I Know You Are But What Am I?” Debate Strategy

October 22, 2012 12:04 pm
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Romney Unveils Controversial “I Know You Are But What Am I?” Debate Strategy

Following last week’s presidential and vice-presidential debates, the Romney campaign has concocted a new strategy for dealing with President Obama’s resurgent, more animated debate performance. In order to combat the Obama’s use of “facts” and “figures,” Governor Romney, lacking a coherent platform of his own, plans to respond to everything the President says with, “I know you are but what am I?” The strategy is the result of a week of intensive planning leading up to tonight’s foreign affairs debate.

“The problem we face going into tonight’s debate is that Governor Romney has said so many different things in so many different contexts over the last few months, that he’s bound to contradict himself if he says anything of substance,” said campaign manager Matt Rhodes, “We decided the best course of actions was just to flat-out deny everything that comes out of the president’s mouth.”

The controversial strategy is already drawing praise from political pundits.

“It’s brilliant. Romney is already 100% prepared for anything Obama can say,” wagered Fox News correspondent Chris Wallace, “I don’t know why no one has thought to do this before. Obama will have his work cut out for him.”

Sources close to the former governor report that he has been practicing the technique on aides all week.

“Actually, it’s getting really annoying,” said one campaign staffer who asked to remain anonymous, “I asked Mr. Romney if he wanted a bottle of water and he responded, ‘I know you are but what am I.’

Spokesmen for Obama have hinted that the President is hastily preparing a repertoire of “your mom” responses to counter Governor Romney’s new tactic.

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