Spring Quarter Already Here

April 3, 2012 6:00 am
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Spring Quarter Already Here

Despite all of the disbelief sweeping the campus, spring quarter is already here. Thousands of extremely confused Stanford students have come back to campus, only to realize that their general perception of time was completely warped.

Here at the Flipside, we were a bit confused as well, so we contacted our most reliable sources to dig to the bottom of the matter. Even experts in the quarter system like fifth year senior and MCS major Jordan Hamis were baffled, saying, “Dude, I don’t know. It feels like it was just fall quarter to me.”

With the ramifications of spring quarter slowly sinking in around campus, many students have found themselves in a frantic state. “Wait–this means that it is almost summer, and I need to get a real, non-Meyer-library-desk job,” said Samantha Pewtorn, a senior living in Jerry, who quickly broke into tears.

Several tipsters suggested that advanced physics would help us understand what had happened. However, Professor Leonard Susskind, who was not interested in speaking with us said, “Relativity and string theory have absolutely nothing to do with this. Please stop wasting my time.”

After an interview with the University Registrar that devolved into a yelling argument, we have also confirmed that this is indeed not a scheduling mistake.

Don’t think it’s spring quarter and write taglines for the Daily? Email flipside@stanford.edu