Stanford Too Popular for Hipsters

January 23, 2012 6:00 am
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Stanford Too Popular for Hipsters

After a record 37,000 applications were submitted to Stanford University this year, hipsters across the country have started indicating that they no longer find the school attractive. Almost an hour after the statistics were released, numerous threads on collegeprowler.com, collegeconfidential.com and similar websites bemoaned the loss of the University’s alt-factor.

“I was into Stanford when I was like, twelve,” read one comment posted by NeutralMilkIvy on the forum. “But ever since it’s started making top ten lists, I just can’t take it seriously.”

Many posts also cited the University’s number one spot on the Times Higher Education’s rankings of ‘Arts & Humanities Schools’ as another turn off for college-bound hipsters: “I can’t believe they sold out like that.”

Forums were also buzzing with rumors surrounding Pitchfork’s annual college rankings, which are due to be released in two weeks. “Although it’s always a little tough to tell,” said one industry analyst, “I would suspect that Stanford isn’t going to get higher than a 4.7 tops.” He also added that while it’s “somewhat alt” for such a prestigious school to be located on the west coast, he didn’t think that fact would help the university’s chances at ranking higher than such “hipster stalwarts as, say, Hunter College.”

A concerned administrator, responding quickly to the negative reaction, indicated that the university might consider altering its image to recoup. “One possibility,” he stated, “is that we subsidize skinny-jean purchases for all professors, or just replace the Panda Express with an American Apparel store.” (Wilcox)

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