Students Rolled Out to MemChu for Early Mass

Several freshmen were rolled out early Sunday morning for early mass at MemChu.

Other students in the dorm were shocked by the hazing that occurred. The rolled out students claimed, however, that they were honored to have been chosen for such an exclusive club.

Rolled out students were repeatedly dunked in water and forced to chug wine and eat bread.

Others were seen walking to the quad repeatedly hitting themselves on the forehead with large wooden paddles and screaming unintelligible chants.

“I’m just so stoked to be a part of the group,” said freshman Billy Walters, who chugged at least one body’s worth of wine.

“Rollouts are awesome!”