People have been hooking up all through history, and hookups have been going awry for just as long.
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This handy chart compares for two different time periods the unfortunate cockblock scenarios in which you, a strapping young man, might find yourself.
| Modern Day | Middle Ages |
| Midway through undressing, the girl stops to ask for a commitment beyond “friends with benefits.” | Midway through removing her glove, the girl stops to ask whether you intend to marry her. |
| An obnoxious Pandora ad interrupts the perfect hookup playlist. | Your violin accompanist stops playing and starts complaining about being a serf.
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| The girl’s very attractive former hookup texts her “I want you… come over.” | The girl’s very attractive former suitor barges in and challenges you to a duel for her love. |
| You puke and/or fall asleep after drinking too many glasses of wine that night. | You puke and/or fall asleep after drinking too many glasses of wine that night. |
| You hesitate for a second when she asks whether you have any STDs. | You hesitate for a second when she asks whether you have bubonic plague.
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| You can’t find a condom. | You’re good; condoms won’t be invented for quite a few centuries. |
