Post Tagged with: "condoms"

Condom Confused About His Sexuality

October 20, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Condom Confused About His Sexuality
Condom Confused About His Sexuality

I knew it. Statistically it made sense. Until this moment I was just excited to be having sex at all, even though I knew I was just being used. But I shouldn’t be surprised that it was a woman. What should surprise me is that right in the middle of […]

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Ask a Delusional College Libertarian

November 5, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Ask a Delusional College Libertarian
Ask a Delusional College Libertarian

Dear Delusional College Libertarian,  Vaden’s new condom policy makes me feel inadequate. Are there really people who get laid 30 times a quarter? Sexless in Soto Dear Sexless, It’s a bummer that you aren’t getting any, but if you ask me, Vaden shouldn’t be giving any handouts at all. If […]

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Thanks to New SHPRC Policy, Freshman Has So Many More Condoms Not to Use Now

October 22, 2012 12:01 pmComments Off on Thanks to New SHPRC Policy, Freshman Has So Many More Condoms Not to Use Now
Thanks to New SHPRC Policy, Freshman Has So Many More Condoms Not to Use Now

Following the announcement that the Sexual Health and Peer Resource Center (SHRPC) would be giving out 30 condoms per quarter as opposed to the previously established number of 12, sexless freshman Richard Softkins expressed his relief that he would have so many more condoms not to use. “I understand this […]

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Cockblocks: Then and Now

May 9, 2011 9:00 amComments Off on Cockblocks: Then and Now
Cockblocks: Then and Now

People have been hooking up all through history, and hookups have been going awry for just as long. This handy chart compares for two different time periods the unfortunate cockblock scenarios in which you, a strapping young man, might find yourself. Modern Day Middle Ages Midway through undressing, the girl […]

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Trojan Fooled into Ranking Stanford Most Sexually Healthy

March 6, 2009 2:07 am0 comments
Trojan Fooled into Ranking Stanford Most Sexually Healthy

In a recent study funded by Trojan and conducted by an independent research firm, Stanford was found to be the most sexually healthy school in the nation. Sitting on top of Columbia and Cornell for the first time gave administrators and students a very, very good feeling. Unfortunately, recent information […]

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12 Unopened Condoms Quietly Mock Student

March 1, 2009 7:37 pm0 comments
12 Unopened Condoms Quietly Mock Student
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