• We accept girls with all shades of blonde hair
• To please our national charter, we love doing many unique, philanthropic events such as:
⁃ Annual Fundraiser for Chronically Shy Girls
⁃ Pancake Sundays, where we give away all the pancakes that have too many carbs for us to eat
⁃ We sometimes prefer having “girls night” instead of getting really shitfaced
• When we get shitfaced, we still look cute
• We have a private Marguerite bus that goes straight between KA and the hospital
• We charge only $399.99 per quarter to let you have unlimited alcohol!*
• We have classy and fun parties with themes such as “Sluts and Hoes” and “Let’s Get Drunk”
• We all love each other because we are sisters!

*While supplies last

You May Also Like

Carta Rolls Out New “Likelihood Your Professor Will Get MeToo’d” Statistic

This past week, news of the resignation of Marty Stepp, the subject…

Student Joins Coop, Starts Acting All Bohemian And Shit

Initial reports indicate that junior Julian Latchey, who just came back from…

Wind, Rain, Sleet, and RA’s Break Up Donner Party

School of Sustainability Announces Plan to Flood Fountains with Crude Oil in Climate Protest

Things are starting to heat up in the climate change circle; not…