• We accept girls with all shades of blonde hair
• To please our national charter, we love doing many unique, philanthropic events such as:
⁃ Annual Fundraiser for Chronically Shy Girls
⁃ Pancake Sundays, where we give away all the pancakes that have too many carbs for us to eat
⁃ We sometimes prefer having “girls night” instead of getting really shitfaced
• When we get shitfaced, we still look cute
• We have a private Marguerite bus that goes straight between KA and the hospital
• We charge only $399.99 per quarter to let you have unlimited alcohol!*
• We have classy and fun parties with themes such as “Sluts and Hoes” and “Let’s Get Drunk”
• We all love each other because we are sisters!

*While supplies last

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…