A new interdisciplinary study sponsored by the National Association for the Advancement of Men (NAAM) suggests that women are starting to have too much self-esteem.

The study has found that women make up over 57% of undergraduate enrollment in the US and similarly outnumber men in graduate school enrollment. Even more alarming is the fact that women on average make an entire 78 cents for every meager dollar a man makes when both have equal levels of education.

“This is absurd,” said Paul Cable, a prominent businessman and member of NAAM. “Soon women might actually earn a salary that corresponds directly to the value of their work. And that is not the America I grew up with!”

“I blame the Soviets and Jews for their successful conspiracy to give women voting rights back in 1920,” Cable added.

The study also found that an entire 40% of rape cases in the US were reported to the police during the last five years, a 33% increase from 1993 reporting rates.

“If women start consistently tattling on rapists, rape might no longer be a feasible alternative to having functional relationships based on mutual understanding and respect, “ said Ronald Pierce, President of NAAM. “I don’t want to live to see the day when men have to act like
human beings with a functional sense of empathy instead of being driven by lust, hatred, and shame. Like in the good ol’ days.”

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