Freshman Stu Baker was emotionally scarred on Wednesday night when his Karel collided with the east wall along the eighth avenue of CollectNewsPaperKarel. A witness saw Karel allegedly move forward four times and make a right turn before leaving the house.

“And that’s when the mayhem began,” said Beth Shaker. “Something wasn’t right. Karel should have picked up the newspaper, but instead he just kept going and going and crash! I had never seen one so close before. It’s so much louder in person.”

Police report that syntax errors and bad indentation were found on the crime scene.

One grade bucket was thought to have been lost in the crash, but no one knows for certain. “Hey, that’s ok,” remarked junior Jeff Spiegels. “Not even the CS106A professor knows how those checks turn into a grade. The kid will probably still end up with an A.”

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