STANFORD 28, CAL 0: Stanford has the best coach, the best offensive line, and the most complete defense in the game of football. Cal students are bitter about not getting into Stanford.

STANFORD 147, CAL 0: The Cardinal defense can’t be penetrated. Cal is a school full of cowards.

STANFORD 1000, CAL 0: Cal’s offense sucks as usual. Andrew Luck will have a field day against Cal’s shitty defense. The tree will cum on the Golden Bear’s face. Cal sucks.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…