Dane Coleman ’10 is the first to admit that his bike parking etiquette was not exactly commendable.

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Before the citation, his bike could be found obstructing the walkways of the quad, locked to door handles, or even secured to the leg of a Rodin sculpture near the Cantor Arts Center.

But one day, that all changed. Last month, as Coleman returned to his bike, he noticed a small orange piece of paper wrapped around the body of his bike, informing him that his bike was parked in an obstructive manner. Although it is unclear how a non-monetary warning without any repercussions affected Coleman so strongly, the parking ticket, which Coleman refers to as the “salvation citation,” sparked a transformation. After the citation, Coleman not only amended his illegal parking habits, he also rededicated himself to Judaism and began volunteer work at a local animal shelter.

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“After the salvation citation,” Coleman explained, “my entire life outlook changed. I go to services every week, I speak up in class, I even call my grandparents on a regular basis.

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I’ve realized the error of my ways.

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” Coleman continued, “Now I run five miles a day, donate all of my money to charity, and I’ve stopped masturbating.”

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