FACE AIDS Gets Recognition but KOOL AIDS Steals the Show

In an effort to support Dance Marathon and FACE AIDS, several groups tabled in White Plaza to promote their unique causes.  Among the groups present were KOOL AIDS, HEARING AIDS, and TEACHERS AIDS. The Associated Network of the United Students for AIDS (ANUS AIDS), however, decided not to participate.

“While FACE AIDS has gained popularity due to the graphic and visible nature of its symptoms, HEARING AIDS has been a silent movement on a figurative and literal level,” said Charlotte Stone, the founder of HEARING AIDS, said. “The main idea behind HEARING AIDS is that the general population isn’t listening to what people with AIDS are saying. Things like ‘Help’ and “I have AIDS.’”

Other AIDS movements at White Plaza focused on more specific issues. At the TEACHERS AIDS desk, a sign stated “The public must recognize that high school faculty parties often get out of control and lead to the rapid spread of AIDS. America must gain awareness of this disturbing trend amongst the nation’s leaders and mentors.”

The most popular table, however, was probably the KOOL AIDS booth. Infected frat boys and blond girls attempted to convince fellow students that if you wanted to be popular, you had to have AIDS. “Condoms are for losers,” one Kappa Sig senior was heard shouting, as he pierced rubbers with paper clips and distributed them to wannabe freshmen. He then continued yelling, “Oh yeah.”

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