Post Tagged with: "syria"

Missile Strikes on Syrian Chlorine Factories Leave Assad’s Pool Faintly Piss-Scented

May 8, 2018 3:38 pmComments Off on Missile Strikes on Syrian Chlorine Factories Leave Assad’s Pool Faintly Piss-Scented
Missile Strikes on Syrian Chlorine Factories Leave Assad’s Pool Faintly Piss-Scented

Several days after President Donald Trump launched several targeted missile strikes against Syrian chlorine facilities in retaliation for Bashar al-Assad’s use of chemical weapons on civilians, news has emerged that the despot’s backyard pool has finally begun to smell vaguely like human piss. “We drew a red line, a big […]

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U.S. Bombing of Random Countries Boosts High School Geography Scores

October 6, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on U.S. Bombing of Random Countries Boosts High School Geography Scores
U.S. Bombing of Random Countries Boosts High School Geography Scores

Twelve years of U.S. forces in continuous conflict around the globe may have a bright side after all, as local high-schooler Timmy Smothers has just aced his geography test. “It was easy,” remarks Smothers, “all I had to do to study was watch CNN.” Timmy isn’t the only student benefiting […]

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Op-Ed: Syria?!

September 30, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Syria?!
Op-Ed: Syria?!

Now I may just be a young man, but I’ve always known the importance of journalism. That’s why I get my news from two sources: Yahoo and those pop-up ads you get when you’re trying to buy ironic T-Shirts. So imagine my surprise when I found out about this Syria […]

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Report: Some Shit Happening on Other Side of the World

November 12, 2012 12:03 pmComments Off on Report: Some Shit Happening on Other Side of the World
Report: Some Shit Happening on Other Side of the World

As elections in the United States draw to a close and citizens return to their normal media consumption habits, international sources are reporting that there is, allegedly, some shit happening on the other side of the world. These sources have yet to be confirmed, but have been known to be […]

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