Your Horoscope, With Sage The Gemini

April 11, 2016 12:00 pm
Your Horoscope, With Sage The Gemini

Aquarius: Slow down, grab the wall. Pisces: Wiggle like you’re tryna make your ass fall off Aries: Hella thick I wanna smash em all Taurus: Speed up, gas pedal Gemini: Black money let them hoes say amen Cancer: I’m just tryna make it clear boy Ray-Bans Leo: I’m a great […]

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Op-Ed: How has Adam Sandler STILL not won an Oscar?!?!?

March 8, 2016 12:00 pm
Op-Ed: How has Adam Sandler STILL not won an Oscar?!?!?

The Academy Awards this year were surrounded by controversy, but no issue was more polarizing than the award for Best Actor. While uninspired actor Leonardo DiCaprio ate just enough bison liver in “The Revenant” to win the Oscar, DiCaprio’s meh career pales in comparison to an overlooked actor who played […]

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Meme “Funny”

February 23, 2016 1:02 pm
Meme “Funny”
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Ask DJ Khaled

January 11, 2016 12:00 pm
Ask DJ Khaled

Dear DJ Khaled, I’m a freshman at Stanford University living in an all freshman dorm. I haven’t been able to sleep well this entire week because of my roommate’s snoring. It’s so loud that it wakes me up every night and then I can’t fall back asleep. Then I nod […]

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Report: This Article Mentioning Star Wars: The Force Awakens Contains No Substance

January 4, 2016 12:00 pm
Report: This Article Mentioning Star Wars: The Force Awakens Contains No Substance

STANFORD, CA – In an attempt to capitalize on the SEO-rich Star Wars brand, this article was written in the span of fifteen minutes and hastily slapped onto the front of this week’s issue of The Stanford Flipside. Reports indicate that this article will go on to mention several characters […]

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Secondary Character Declares Fight ‘Not Worth It’

November 30, 2015 12:00 pm
Secondary Character Declares Fight ‘Not Worth It’
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Playboy Returns to Publishing Nude Photos After Loss of Revenue

November 9, 2015 12:00 pm
Man sitting at a desk and looking into his computer

Following their October decision to cease publication of nude photos, Playboy CEO Scott Flanders has indicated that magazine will now reverse course and come back to the images that once made its name. “We did not think this through,” said Flanders. “We had assumed that people read us for the […]

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Soccer Dad Sues Drake Over Hotline Bling Dance Moves

October 27, 2015 10:00 am
Soccer Dad Sues Drake Over Hotline Bling Dance Moves

Todd Williams’ normal suburban life took an interesting turn last week when his twin girls, Rebecca and Elise, showed him Drake’s new video for his smash hit ‘Hotline Bling’. “I always admired Drake’s music, and I used to feel as if he was a sort of kindred spirit to us […]

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Wouldn’t it be cool if we admitted Macaulay Culkin?

September 29, 2015 10:00 am
Wouldn’t it be cool if we admitted Macaulay Culkin?

Stanford is known for attracting the best and brightest to its storied halls, from Olympic athletes concerned that their athletic prowess will soon wane into irrelevant nothingness, to the children of mildly famous business executives. But despite all of this, I feel like we could all agree that it would […]

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Lonely Sex Robot Inhabiting Drake’s Brain Achieves Sentience

September 28, 2015 12:00 pm
Lonely Sex Robot Inhabiting Drake’s Brain Achieves Sentience

The music world is abuzz with the news that following the release of the collaborative Drake/Future mixtape, What a Time to Be Alive, robot L0v3-U-G1RL, which has lived inside Drake’s brain for the past six years, has finally gained the sentience that was long denied it. The discovery came after detailed analysis […]

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