Students in PWR 2: Rhetoric of Feeling have reported that in their most recent reading for the class, the author in their infinite wisdom chose to replace all instances of “said” with the word “ejaculate” as if that was a totally ordinary usage for the term.
While one of the definitions of “ejaculate” does indeed mean “to say something quickly and suddenly”, it is unclear as to why the author insisted on using this definition repeatedly.
“It’s not in the slightest bit sexy,” reported Jacob Lexington, ’19.
“Like it would be one thing if it was thematically tied in to a romantic exchange or otherwise encouraged a sexual subtext, but I really can’t stress how totally not sexy this reading was.

Other students felt similarly about the content: “Look, I’ve read Freud, I’ve read Kafka, I get psychosexual alienation okay?” said a student who asked not to be named.
“But this was just totally bizarre and inappropriate, like the characters were just sitting around in a room talking about coffee.”

As of press time, the professor is still pretending that everything is ok and that nothing is out of the ordinary.

You May Also Like

Dr. Fauci Feels Much More Comfortable Walking Around Public Now That He Is Not Being Traced By the Red Dot of a Nearby Army Sniper

In many ways the nation took a big sigh of relief after…

Wave of Taco Bell Employees Apply to Stanford Knight Management School

In anticipation of the opening of the Knight School of Management this…

Stanford University Secedes From The Union

STANFORD, CA- After meeting with the heads of every academic department, the…

“Man, Napoleon Sure Was A Douche,” Opines Chaz Jackson

STANFORD, CA—Citing the French leader’s devastating military campaigns and egomaniacal desire for…