Following Full Moon on the Quad, Outbreak of Feelings in Freshman Dorm

February 6, 2018 12:00 pm
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Following Full Moon on the Quad, Outbreak of Feelings in Freshman Dorm

Following the popular and historical event Full Moon on the Quad last Wednesday night, viruses have pervaded the freshman dorms. The most rampant of these deadly plagues: feelings.

One afflicted freshman, Cedro resident Kyle Shermis, has been bedridden for three days with a severe case of feelings. Said Shermis, “Yeah, I caught feelings from some girl I made out with. I didn’t know you could get it just from kissing, I thought you had to go further to really come down with feelings.”

Shermis hypothesized he received the contagion from Leila from Serra. “I should have used mouthwash,” he lamented. “Now I think I need to call all the other girls I made out with to let them know so they can check if they have feelings as well.”

Others have also found themselves suffering from feelings. Many want more than just a kiss, specifically an emotional relationship and loving commitment, but are not sure if their random partner feels the same way.

Another Cedro resident, Stephen, was unimpressed by these afflictions. Stephen is currently seeking medical attention from Vaden for the flu, mono, and herpes after attending the event.

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