Op-Ed: I Invented A Color And Here’s What You Need To Know About It

May 8, 2017 12:00 pm
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Op-Ed: I Invented A Color And Here’s What You Need To Know About It

You’ve probably already read about it, but if you haven’t, here’s the deal: I invented a brand new color, never before seen, and you need to know a few things before you can just go and look at it.

First off, you might be wondering how I “invented” a color. Actually it’s not hard at all, for me at least. You just have to be as creative and hardworking as me. And also smart. It’s not for everyone, but I guess I’m just talented. A lot of people think that all the colors might be out there and “discovered” already. They’re fools for thinking that, and it’s why they’ve never invented any colors like me. I just dreamt this baby up.

The color itself is pretty neutral, warm with cool undertones. It’s bright but like a pastel. Kind of neon, but muted. Definitely some green influences but not too much green. At that point it just becomes green! It’s like the color you see when you close your eyes but a lot different. Honestly, it’s beautiful. I’m surprised no one’s ever thought of it before.

Here’s the deal, I can’t actually show you a picture of the color. I’m still getting a patent. Believe it or not, the process of getting a color patent is very complicated. People try to tell you “we don’t do that patenting” and “that’s not a real thing.” But I’m still trying, because I can’t have people just stealing my color. That’s ridiculous, it’s my intellectual property.

Also, I’m taking name suggestions for the color. For now, I’m thinking “Redbluegreen.” What? I’m a color inventor, not a writer.

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