There are no Unattractive Bodies, Only Unattractive Faces like Yours

April 6, 2015 12:00 pm
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There are no Unattractive Bodies, Only Unattractive Faces like Yours

What is this? Flip-Fit is a new health and fitness blog featured occasionally in the Flipside. It aims at giving students tips to live healthy, stress-free lives.

Body image is concerned with your perception of and how you feel about your own body. People often have distorted ideas of what their body should look like due to movies and other media. Given all of the toned, muscular bodies of athletes at Stanford, body image distortion is a harsh reality here. Flip-Fit has some tips for snapping out of that negative frame and focusing on the real enemy: your face.

 Celebrate your body! Your body isn’t the problem! Take a good luck at your body in the mirror. Drink it all in. Say “You’re beautiful and I’m glad I have you,” to your body. Now shift your gaze up to your weird face. There’s not so much to celebrate there! Say, “Not you, ugly face.”

Don’t be fooled by magazines! With editing software, models in magazines are made to look much thinner and more shapely than they actually are. As Meghan Trainor says, “We know that shit ain’t real!” Even the models themselves know that they don’t really look like their photoshopped versions in lewd magazines like Cosmopolitan or the Stanford Daily.

Get used to it. Sorry, reader. You and your face are partners for life! Learn to hate your dramatic flaws less and become marginally less unhappy!

Exercise. Your body may already be beautiful, but with exercise you can live longer and have more energy for day-to-day activities. If only there were exercises to make your gross face go away and create a new, better face take its place. But there’s a solution for that!

Plastic Surgery! Plastic surgery may seem like a drastic step, but in some countries like South Korea, surgery is actually a rite of passage for the young and ugly. Pretend you’re in South Korea and just go under the knife! It’s not like you could look any worse. Worst case scenario, you die and are remembered only as a plastic surgery statistic. At least you’re not alive and ugly anymore.

Make a list. Make a list of all the features of your body you love. Include your nice hands, and your well-arched feet. Don’t forget your super-soft skin. Now make another list, a list of things you don’t like about your face. Which list is longer? The face one? Of course it is, your face is just not good.

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