Raccoon Receives Diploma, Leftover Pizza

November 28, 2012 9:00 am
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Raccoon Receives Diploma, Leftover Pizza

A role model for the rest of us, one of the raccoons often found rummaging through the dumpsters behind Branner Dining Hall is only a few units shy of graduating with honors. While most would balk at his ambitious academic schedule, this raccoon has plenty of time to socialize while still maintaining high marks in all of his classes. Extracurricular activities such as searching through trash bins all around campus with his friends, scaring sheltered freshman girls, and “just hanging out in a bush all day” have made him something of a campus celebrity, but not many people know the scholar behind the friendly face – possibly because that face is often buried in garbage. But come spring, this renaissance raccoon is eager to graduate with a double major in North American Ecosystems and French. What’s next after that? His passion for government may bring him to back-alley trash heaps in the DC area. But, he cedes, he’ll probably try to spend a few years eating students’ discarded ramen at a Graduate School before he gets too serious.

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