A NASA satellite is threatening to crash into the Earth. How would you as President deal with this threat?

Mitt Romney- I would cut personal and corporate tax rates, empowering the private sector to deal with this threat. I dealt with many similar issues at Bain Capital and this is nothing that a little downsizing, restructuring and outsourcing cannot handle. Besides I just checked and all of my homes and vehicles are fully insured.

Rick Perry- First, I want to point out that this is just another unproven scientific theory that suggests there is actually a threat to the Earth. Regardless, I would eliminate capital gains taxes, harnessing the entrepreneurial spirit that has made Texas so great.

Newt Gingrich – I just want to point out that this satellite was launched during the Clinton Administration, and that if he had been paying attention to his job this never would have been a problem.
Ron Paul – This is not something the Federal Government should be involved with. Let individual citizens take their own course of action.
I recommend that everyone duck.

Michelle Bachmann – Repeal Obamacare and build a big fence along the border with Mexico. I am sorry, what was the question?

Rick Santorum – If it falls on any gay people, that is their own fault.
Herman Cain – 9 9 9. I don’t really know what that means, but I enjoy saying it and people seem to really like hearing it.
John Huntsman – I can’t believe that I am standing up here with these lunatics.

You May Also Like

Live EP “ShowaJamz” Reveals New Artist’s Fresh, Clean Sound

If you had any doubt that Stanford MS&E major James Harak would…

Russia gets Hot and Heavy under Putin

President Putin made headlines last week by hiring Boyz II Men to…

Op-Ed: “Full Moon Wasn’t Going to be Fun Without Hennessy There Anyway”

Look, don’t get me wrong—I’m as bummed as anyone that the spit-swapping…

Stanford Student Disappointed That Starving Child Fails to Grasp the Importance of Big Game

Cape Town, South Africa — Stanford student Douglas Hentsworth attempted to explain…