A NASA satellite is threatening to crash into the Earth. How would you as President deal with this threat?

Mitt Romney- I would cut personal and corporate tax rates, empowering the private sector to deal with this threat. I dealt with many similar issues at Bain Capital and this is nothing that a little downsizing, restructuring and outsourcing cannot handle. Besides I just checked and all of my homes and vehicles are fully insured.

Rick Perry- First, I want to point out that this is just another unproven scientific theory that suggests there is actually a threat to the Earth. Regardless, I would eliminate capital gains taxes, harnessing the entrepreneurial spirit that has made Texas so great.

Newt Gingrich – I just want to point out that this satellite was launched during the Clinton Administration, and that if he had been paying attention to his job this never would have been a problem.
Ron Paul – This is not something the Federal Government should be involved with. Let individual citizens take their own course of action.
I recommend that everyone duck.

Michelle Bachmann – Repeal Obamacare and build a big fence along the border with Mexico. I am sorry, what was the question?

Rick Santorum – If it falls on any gay people, that is their own fault.
Herman Cain – 9 9 9. I don’t really know what that means, but I enjoy saying it and people seem to really like hearing it.
John Huntsman – I can’t believe that I am standing up here with these lunatics.

You May Also Like

Disney Applauded for Casting First Openly Queer Character as Disgusting Roach Who Gets Stepped On During Opening Credits

Last Thursday, Disney joined the ranks of uber-corporations who recognize the turning…

The following is a pre-written message from the Stanford Flipside, December 20th, 2012

We hope this message finds you well as you settle into your…

Study Finds Twin Sent into Space Much Cooler than Twin Left on Earth

Last Friday Astronaut Scott Kelly launched from Kazakhstan on a historical mission…