Investigators have concluded that the car outside of Bob recently caught fire due to a misunderstanding about Chinese Fire Drills, according to Don Gifford, captain of the San Jose Arson Squad.

“What we have here is a basic miscommunication,” commented Mr. Gifford, who headed the investigation. “One student had a different definition of what a ‘Chinese Fire Drill’ actually is.”

Huan Lee, an international student from Beijing and a sophomore here at Stanford, is now being charged with arson. The police investigation has concluded that Mr. Lee was riding shotgun in a car with acquaintances when they approached a stop sign. One student yelled, ‘Chinese Fire Drill!’ and everyone immediately jumped out of the car.

While typically a Chinese Fire Drill involves running around the car and ending up in different seats, Lee instead doused the car in gasoline and lit it on fire, as his friends watched in confusion.

Professor Bob Sorrows, an expert on Chinese culture here at Stanford University, offers an explanation.
“This is all about the culture gap,” Mr. Sorrows explained. “In addition to Chinese food being very different in China from what the way it is here in the U.S., their concept of Chinese Fire Drills is very different.”

“I’m very sorry for this misunderstanding,” said Mr. Lee, who is currently being held in San Jose County Jail. “I wish I had known what a Chinese Fire Drill was before this incident.”

Stanford University is now looking into more comprehensive International Student Orientation for next year to prevent such misunderstandings in the future.

You May Also Like

Disappointing: Susie Brubaker-Cole’s Latest Video Got Under 5k Likes so She Put Down her Dog

Appropriations Committee Eliminates Support for Student Life Programs on Campus: 30 Found Dead



OLD UNION—Last Tuesday, the ASSU Appropriations Committee met to discuss the future…

Op-Ed: To Ensure My Vote Counts I Nailed A Copy of My Ballot to Every Door in My State Capitol

You heard me right. With all the damn kerfuffle around ballots and…

Student Brings 14 Pencils To Math Midterm Just In Case

Freshman overachiever Jessica Pan brought 14 pencils (4 Regular, 3 Mechanical, and…