CROTHERS MEMORIAL—Yesterday evening, sophomore Garrett Briley returned to Stanford from his winter break, in which he reportedly skied the Swiss Alps, met Vladimir Putin, and purchased a new iPhone.
When asked by roommate Geoffrey Helterson how his break was, Briley replied, “Break was good.
How about you?”

Helterson, who had had an appendectomy and had his wisdom teeth pulled, replied, “Mine was pretty good also. I mean, break is awesome no matter what way you look at it.
”

You May Also Like

Apple Partners with US Military to Produce Apple-Brand War Crimes

Child labor provider Apple Inc. recently announced that it is partnering with…

Decision to Euthanize IHUM Sparks Controversy

IHUM used to be a thriving forum where students sparred and matched…

Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?

Sandwich-making is a secret lore, a tradition, an art— and though I…