By Joe Phillips, Policeman

I’m Joe, but you can call me the “Police Blogger.” No, that’s not what my friends call me, it’s just what I call myself. This is my first blog post, so excuse the typos and ramblings.

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Normally, in the paper you see the police blotter, where you read all the crimes. But I’m the police blogger–I give you the crimes and then I give you my opinions.

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Let’s begin: Yesterday at 3:15 p.

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m., a Macbook was stolen from Hewlett 200 from some girl Carli.

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First off, Carli, seriously? Everyone knows Stanford students are hungry for extra first generation Macbooks. Plus, the report says you didn’t have a lock and are not actually sure that you lost it and that it might still be in your dorm room under your bed. I think what we have here is a case of the “I need to be more responsible”s.

Ok, next up: Last week in Mirrielees, a recording device was found in a bedroom.

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First off, creepy. Second, really? Ok, guys, if you are looking for recording space, I have this friend who does a really great job, he’s really professional and he can record your band for cheap. He’s done a bunch of local bands before–I’ll give you his number.

Last: Another day, another bike crash outside the Post Office. What can I tell you guys? Helmets is the name of the game.

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Let’s act like grown ups.

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