STANFORD, CA—Six days ahead of schedule, the Office of Undergraduate Admissions released the results for the class of 2014 applicant pool.

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With 32,022 applicants, Stanford admission rates have gotten more competitive than ever.

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Earlier today, Dean of Admissions Richard Shaw announced that the acceptance rate for the class of 2014 was -3.

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14%.

“Not only did Stanford not accept any new applicants, we actually had to kick out some of the under-qualified students who are already here,” commented Shaw.

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“College these days is tougher than ever, and if we want Stanford to keep its elite status, we can only keep the best.

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” Other top schools such as Harvard and Princeton boasted admit rates of postive 4.2% and 2.1% respectively.

Among the students kicked out were the entire dorm of Junipero as well as the lower two floors of Mirrielees.

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“We will be using those residences to house the really good application essays that we get,” said housing manager Ron Grinwall.

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