Flipside sent two undercover investigative reporters to give us the scoop on Frosh Formal 2025. One frosh reporter made it to the scene, while the other was tragically transported before experiencing the highs and lows of the most important dance of the entire Stanford experience. This article documents their fraught journeys to (and in one case, in) “Tangled in Twilight.”
7:58 PM: Awkwardly looking for cups at the pregame I kind of wasn’t invited to.
Editor’s Note: Sources say Reporter 1 did not find a cup and was left to use an illegally-owned candle to take shots from. Waxy tequila can only lead to no good.
8:30 PM: Had too many drinks at the pre and now I’m embarrassed, I’m the only one dancing 😢
8:31 PM: Hopefully I find a man from formal cuz my marriage pact was highkey chopped.
8:33 PM: Reporters texted to meet up.
R1: where are youuuuu
R2: BRANNER
R3: omg i love branner
R4: i have a crush on a guy who’s in branner…shhhhh 🤫
R5: Bro don’t we all
8:59 PM: Guys I’m so embarrassed I’m older than the Dancing Queen wtf, am i unc?
9:04 PM: just found out they breathalyze at frosh formal tf. Lowkey nervous. First time cheating on a test 😬
Editor’s Note: Reporter 1 slipped through to the formal, avoiding the Breathalyzer.
9:09 PM: i like bumping jumping is so fun i like to jump
9:43 PM: why tf did I have to ID scan twice to get into formal? I could be Jeff Bezos’ niece tf
9:54 PM: ran into some friends. They didn’t offer me a shot. I feel betrayed
Editor’s Note: Those are not your friends…
9:55 PM: for journalism, a study should be conducted on where tf men get the audacity.
10:10 PM: I’m freezing and I’m hella drunk so you know it’s Antarctica here.
10:54 PM: PHEW I remembered to do my Duolingo…1924 days. Longest relationship of my life
11:28 PM: KILL ALL MEN
11:32 PM: omg that guy with the suit and tie is kinda hot
11:33 PM: Nvm Kill all men
11:42 PM: ALSO telling a girl you’re in love with her and then trying to play it cool cause you’re busy should be punishable by death
Editor’s Note: Unclear who is where and which reporter is which. Editors believe their reconnaissance efforts were intercepted.
3:30 AM: GIRL I DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE PARTY what the fuck i’m i literally in the hospital erm erm
3:31 AM: somebody went too hard😅😅😅😅😅😅
3:36 AM: i highkey wish the jonas brotheers were here tho i love joe
3:49 AM: shout out to all lesbians and the pbj im eating at the hospital
sometime before 3:64 — chronicles of being transported: i hope i didn’t embarrass myself too much
3:54 AM: HIGHHH FLIPSIDDEEEE I LOVE YALL
Editor’s Note: And we love you, Undercover Reporter 2.
3:55 AM: this one if for the boys with the booming system top down ac with the cooling system when they come up in the club i be blazing up got stacks on deck like the saving up or whatever and they ill they real and whatnot hello govna i really fuck with scrubs and i think people look hot in them
4:27 AM: just had. heartfelt conversation with. worker and i love her
4:47 AM: i was gonna type something really profound but i forgot
6:34 AM: are we still doing this or should i take my ass to sleep
Editor’s Note: The editors are glad the reporters are safe (?), but recommend more water next time.
