In a stroke of genius yet to be realized by any other Stanford students or Chase Bank’s top advertising executives, sophomore Greg Nicholson has begun cashing in the widespread offer of 0 from Chase Bank’s advertisements for opening up checking and savings accounts.
Nicholson reportedly scoops up these flyers every time he checks his P.O. box, and even grabs a few discarded flyers from other students off the top of the recycling bin located directly outside the post office.
“Yeah, honestly I don’t know, it seems pretty dumb of Chase Bank to just be giving out $500 like two or three times a week, mailed directly to my P.O. box. And for no one else to be taking advantage of such a great deal! It’s free money! I can’t believe it but no one else must have thought of it yet,” Nicholson said.
In fact, Nicholson’s innovative thinking has cost Chase Bank millions of dollars, and may be pushing the company towards bankruptcy.
“This kid has really figured us out. I shouldn’t say too much, but we are getting a little worried over here.
We’re not really sure how much longer this can go on for,” Chase executive Alan Myers said.
“He’s found a loophole that could ruin us.”
Nicholson has been asked to consult with Stanford’s Economics Department on this source of seemingly endless cash, and as of press time is continuing with his strategy of making his fortune off those small blue flyers.
