The music world was ecstatic to learn today that famed singer-songwriter Carly Simon has released her first new music since 2008. Simon, whose prolific song “You’re So Vain” has sparked over 40 years of speculation about its subject, released a single from upcoming album I Dated Warren Beatty In The 70s, provisionally entitled: “This One’s About Warren (Beatty), (The Famous Actor.)”

Simon has stated that the song’s lyrics are of an intensely intimate nature, touching on subjects such as her personal life, her romantic past, and a once-broken heart. “The first verse, especially, is so moving to me,” said Simon, “you know it goes, ‘Hey this one is about Warren/Who was notoriously handsome/He directed Heaven Can Wait/And he held my heart to ransom.’ As soon as I wrote those words, I knew I’d stumbled upon the type of song I wanted to write.”

Simon, whose notorious romantic history inspired some of her most moving hits in the 70s and 80s, says that she hopes the new song will once again retain a sense of mystery. “I want listeners to wonder who I’m singing about, to wonder who could have had such a profound effect on my heart. ‘Married to Annette Bening now/He won an Oscar for Reds/He’s delightfully suave/And he took me to bed.’ It really could be anyone, you know?”

You May Also Like

Spring Quarter Already Here

Despite all of the disbelief sweeping the campus, spring quarter is already…

Custodians Nationwide Quit Over Impossibility of Cleaning America’s Filthy Soul

In a move that has stunned the nation, American cleaners of all…

Area Man Disappointed That Girls Don’t Flirt the Way They Do On TV

Saratoga, CA – Fred Collins was spotted this morning leaving a Peet’s…

The Midnight Fryer: The Blowjob Scenario Part VIII

By Yanran Hu After several weeks of writing a column, I have…