Midterms can be a trying time at Stanford, casting a shadow over the otherwise sunny paradise from week 3 until week 9. But for Emily Patrelle, midterms are one of the highlights of her quarter, every quarter. An active member of Kardinal Kink, the BDSM and sex-positivity club founded earlier this year, Patrelle admits her lifestyle may seem strange to others, but she simply cannot wait for midterms.

This reporter sat down with Patrelle right after a Math 51 midterm, amid the groans and complaints of her fellow students.

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“The midterm destroyed me, man,” sighed one, and, “Brutal. Just brutal,” said another. But Patrelle’s face was aglow. “That was incredible,” she gushed.

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“A big, thick, 10-page long midterm was just what I needed this week. Yeah it was hard, but that’s how I like it.

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When asked about her midterm schedule, Patrelle revealed she had another one just days later. “I’ve barely studied,” she confided, giggling. “I’ve been a bad student. A bad, bad student. And I need to be punished.” Patrelle emphasized that, despite the concerns of her friends and family, her academic decisions are not dangerous. “I always have a frank, open discussion with the professor on the first day of class, about whether or not I can handle the work, or if I’m stretching myself too thin. And furthermore, what two consenting adults do in the confines of a classroom really isn’t anyone’s business but their own.” At press time, Patrelle was waiting for her roommate to leave the room before starting a particularly tough physics p-set.

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