Over the last week, conservative nonprofit Turning Point USA announced the addition of the Mario Kart character Birdo to the professor watchlist for Stanford University. TPUSA has been quite active on campus in the last week, with founder, director, and certifiable hottie Charlie Kirk and communications director Candace Owens coming to speak last Tuesday, but the addition of Birdo to the watchlist comes as a surprise to many.
“I know that they usually put professors on there, if they think they’re too left-leaning or are a threat to conservative students,” junior Robbie Wilkinson said. “But I’ve never heard of them putting a fictional, beautiful, sexy video game character on there. There’s no friggin way that she’s a professor here—who’d be able to pay attention and ignore her dazzlingly long eyelashes and steely gaze? I know I wouldn’t!”
TPUSA has been known to take a conservative stance on many social issues, and notably the newly established Stanford chapter tabled White Plaza with beautifully elegant posters reading “there are only two genders.”
In a press release put out by TPUSA, they stated that “Birdo apparently would now like to be referred to as Birdetta and uses she/her pronouns. What a bunch of bullshit. This is a threat to conservative students at Stanford University and at all colleges. We won’t even begin to get into his unnatural relationship with the shelled devil, Yoshi. We’ll leave it at the fact that this kind of deviancy is not tolerated within TPUSA and we cannot in good faith ignore this danger to society.”
According to a student involved with the establishment of a Stanford chapter of TPUSA, the idea of this character and her gender transition confused and threatened the conservative students’ place on this campus, particularly their right to education without ideas that challenged their own opinions.