In a shocking turn of events this week, Hollywood power player Nicolas Cage was not accused of sexual harassment.

online pharmacy cialis soft tabs with best prices today in the USA

In the wake of horrifying reports concerning the sexual misconduct of Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.

online pharmacy ivermectin with best prices today in the USA
buy cipro online waynegeneralhospital.org/styles/css/cipro.html no prescription pharmacy

K., and many others, the general public and Hollywood insiders alike felt certain that the allegations would continue on to include the star of the National Treasure franchise, and were reportedly stunned when they did not.

In a deeply personal blog post, Gawker staff writer Nicki Summers explained that she “just felt like Nicolas Cage was the natural next step.” Others were equally taken aback.

online pharmacy azithromycin for sale with best prices today in the USA

When told that Cage, of such box office successes as Season of the Witch and The Wicker Man, had not been accused of sexual harassment, Trevor Arguello of Dallas, TX confessed feelings of shock and outrage.

“When I heard the news,” Arguello recalled, “I was disgusted.

online pharmacy elavil for sale with best prices today in the USA

How could this man not have committed such atrocities?

buy doxycycline online bewellct.com/images/originals/jpg/doxycycline.html no prescription pharmacy

I mean, just look at him!”

Yet despite overwhelming public opinion, no one — from an office intern to an entertainment reporter to an underpaid film extra — has come forward to accuse Cage of leveraging his power to take sexual advantage of them.

When asked to respond to the absence of allegations, a visibly confused and surprised Cage accidentally implicated former comedian and for-sure pervert Dane Cook in the ever-expanding scandal of their never having committed any Hollywood sex crimes.

buy prograf online waynegeneralhospital.org/styles/css/prograf.html no prescription pharmacy

You May Also Like

Amazon Sues Rainforest for Copyright Infringement

The infamous tech giant Amazon Inc. online pharmacy abilify with best prices…

Facebook Introduces “Innermost Feelings About Each Other” Feature to Friendship Pages

Several weeks after launching its new friendship pages, Facebook has added an…

Notice of Correction: Prof. David Palumbo-Liu a Decepticon, Not an Antifa Terrorist Ringleader as Previously Reported

In a stunning op-ed published yesterday, professor David Palumbo-Liu refuted recent claims…