The drought is gone, and California is saved. We did it! And now that the water’s back, we are glad to bring these wet tidings to you now. Turn on all of the water taps. Let them run. For now is a time of plenty! We’ve got water to spare, come and get it while you can.
That’s right, once again we have been granted the full power to move cool, potable, water from somewhere far away to your sink! Go to your sinks, and turn them all on. We’ve got so much water, the troubles are far away, and life is great! Treat yourself to an extra shower, with the good shampoo. Or run the water on hot for a long time, and revel as steam moves across the room like a weird cloud. Amazing.
Or you could even have water at the best time: that’s right, with food. Go on, you can spare that extra glass. As they say, more water is more water. And that is good.
Find a garden hose, run it outside. That’s your water now. You can use it for whatever you want. Bask in that power. Drive a spike into a sprinkler. The grass does not deserve the liquid bound as you do. Get your fill of this magical fresh liquid of dreams, while it is here.
Truly, for this season we are blessed with a bounty of H2O. Now more than ever, the world is your oyster, which is good because oysters like water and we have so much of it. Go and partake, friend!

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