Dear RCC,

Whether it was a classic Holiday mix-up, or it’s been that way all along, I have some suspicions that my computer (previously thought to be a standard word-processing container) is in fact a crockpot. My first issue with this came up when I tried to turn in a paper on-line and accidentally marinated a 30-oz peppered skirt steak with carrot coins and onion shallots. Let me be clear; I would normally have no problem with this – the steak was delicious – but I’m starting to fail all of my classes. My teacher did not receive any notification of what had occurred, even in lieu of the assignment I was supposed to turn in. Secondly, as far as I can remember computers do not have handles, so can someone please explain to me why mine has artisan ceramic grips that can be used to easily transport ready-made meals that the whole family will love? Convenience is great, as long as what’s convenient is being able to easily type word documents, not, as my computer does, be able to keep beef stew warm for several hours. My last concern has to do with my social life. I have had a lot of trouble contacting my friends the past couple weeks, no matter if I set my computer to “high” or “slow cook”.

Let me know if you have any quick fixes or if I’ll need to talk to someone higher up in IT.

Scarlet Wu (room 324)

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