Stanford is known for attracting the best and brightest to its storied halls, from Olympic athletes concerned that their athletic prowess will soon wane into irrelevant nothingness, to the children of mildly famous business executives. But despite all of this, I feel like we could all agree that it would be seriously cool if Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin was in the Stanford Class of 2019.
Sure, Macaulay’s acting pales in comparison to that of Oscar winning actors. It’s even mediocre when compared to the performances of other child stars, such as Kyle Massey or Hailee Steinfeld, but there’s just something absolutely irresistible about Macaulay Culkin’s charm as perpetually-abandoned Kevin McCallister throughout the Home Alone series.
Yeah, it’s technically true that at 35, Macaulay Culkin is a solid 17 years older than the average Stanford freshman this year. But stopping there would be selling short the magic, magnetism, and cheerful charisma of the former child star. Macaulay would, without a doubt, be able to fit right in amongst the freshman community of Stanford University. He would easily blend in with the Stanford community. In fact, Macaulay still hasn’t attended, let alone graduated, from any sort of university or institute of higher education. Simply put, he could use Stanford just as much as Stanford needs him.
Really Admissions, it’s that easy. Just send him a letter, and all of our Stanford experiences will be ever so slightly, but tangibly, improved. I think we can all agree that it would be kinda cool.