Dude, Northern California is hella sick.
  I don’t even know how people survive in places like Kansas or Canada or anywhere else.
 

We’ve got a gnarly beachfront to surf in the summer and insane mountains to carve in the winter.  And the weather is always hella sunny, so people are much more chill than in the East Coast.
 

The one time left to visit my uncle in Boston it was hella cold, but I still wore shorts and flip-flops because I had to represent the Yay Area.  The Yay Area is what we call the Bay Area here.
 

A lot of people also don’t know that California has hella farmland, where we grow hella dank food for the country, like the papayas that I buy at the grocery store.  Those things are so good.  I think if I had the choice I’d want NorCal to be its own country, that’s how tight it is here.
  I’m even thinking about getting a tattoo of the California flag on my back, because my friend got one on his arm and it looks sick.  Norcal for life! 
 

You May Also Like

Heaven Announces Record Low Acceptance Rate For 2013

Heaven admitted only 3.12 million people this year, marking the lowest acceptance…

Amid Human Rights Abuses and Declining Support for Local Regime, U.S. Backs Coup in Flint, Michigan

As the humanitarian crisis worsens and citizens grow increasingly critical of local…

Op-Ed: I Can’t Take News from Gavin Newsom Because I’m Too Distracted by His Raw Sexual Energy

I have a confession to make. I suspect it’s it a subject…