Hi there! Friendly comedy writer Art Maxmann here.

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I want you to know that we put a lot of time into writing these articles, trying to give you a chuckle. And I also want you to know that I’ve accepted that no matter how hard I try to make this funny, I’ll never top your face’s laughter-inducing power.

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It’s kind of sad, really. Here I am, a comedic athlete, training every day in the hopes of bettering myself at my craft.

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But the forces of nature, showing their true humor, sought fit to craft your stupid visage with a greater potential to put people in stitches than I will ever be able to attain. I am like Sisyphus, struggling to push a joke-filled boulder up a hill, only to see your face at the top and collapse in a crippling fit of involuntary laughter.

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But I’m fine with that. Really, I am.

I believe we were all put here to fulfill a purpose, and in your case, that purpose is to wear your dumb mug around everywhere, bringing joy to the unfortunate and downtrodden, who can at least take solace in and get a chuckle from the fact that they don’t look as ridiculous as you do.

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So, thank you. While I may seek to make people laugh, it is not doing that successfully which brings me enjoyment; it is the journey.

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That, and getting to laugh at you, you dumb face.

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