Hi there! Friendly comedy writer Art Maxmann here. I want you to know that we put a lot of time into writing these articles, trying to give you a chuckle. And I also want you to know that I’ve accepted that no matter how hard I try to make this funny, I’ll never top your face’s laughter-inducing power.

It’s kind of sad, really. Here I am, a comedic athlete, training every day in the hopes of bettering myself at my craft. But the forces of nature, showing their true humor, sought fit to craft your stupid visage with a greater potential to put people in stitches than I will ever be able to attain. I am like Sisyphus, struggling to push a joke-filled boulder up a hill, only to see your face at the top and collapse in a crippling fit of involuntary laughter. But I’m fine with that. Really, I am.

I believe we were all put here to fulfill a purpose, and in your case, that purpose is to wear your dumb mug around everywhere, bringing joy to the unfortunate and downtrodden, who can at least take solace in and get a chuckle from the fact that they don’t look as ridiculous as you do. So, thank you. While I may seek to make people laugh, it is not doing that successfully which brings me enjoyment; it is the journey. That, and getting to laugh at you, you dumb face.

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