This is it, Class of Fif-TEEN! You haven’t heard that one in a while, but prepare yourselves for the ritualized shouting one last time. Welcome to the final stretch of ceremonies, festivities, and trying to decide if you’re going to keep the comforter you threw up on during Sophomore year. Get ready for the real world, for adulthood, and for doing your taxes without mommy’s help.

We at the Flipside want to impart one last message to the student body: please, stay young. Get excited about things. Fan-girl when you want to. Watch Frozen all by yourself and don’t be afraid to sing along. Double-dutch with the kids at the playground and show them how it’s done. Embrace emotion. Throw temper tantrums and lose control of your bodily functions.

Wait, no. Let’s not do that. Maybe it’s time to just be old. Have a hot toddy and stay in on a Saturday night. Chew your food for a really long time–not because you have to; you’re savoring it. Ride one of those cool scooters around the shuffleboard deck on a senior cruise. Go on rants and lose control of your bodily functions.

I guess what we’re suggesting is, do both. Keep up that youthful spirit, but don’t be afraid to nap if you need to. Buy that ergonomic mattress, but make sure you get a few good jumping sessions in. Let’s age in moderation.

It has been our honor to speak to you every week about things that matter to us, like poop and politics. We hope that you thought a little and laughed a lot. Thanks for reading!

-The Flipside Seniors

You May Also Like

Op-Ed: Today I Was Arrested at Tresidder For Throwing My Trash in the Wrong Bin

Look, I get it, but when the cops accost you two seconds…

God Awkwardly Forgets Son’s Birthday Again

According to scriptural and journalistic sources, God forgot the December 25th birthday…

Family Dinners Become Problematic For Conservative Congressman Who Refuses to Pass Anything

When Billy asked his dad, Richard Whiteman, the House representative for Alabama’s…